Tuesday, December 28, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEE :D :D




I know it's been a wee while. My last post was about death....sigh...I just  figured this is a great way to herald the closing of the year. {Hopefully i shall put uup another post before the end of the year ;-) }
There's a fire...Fire of Love raging on all my FB and twitter pages today :-) I love y'all. Awesome people. God bless y'all :)

Note to self: Respond to all the messages. 

The Goood part: ARSENAL WHUPPED CHELSEA AT THE EMIRATES LAST NIGHT!!!!! WOOOOOP WOOOOOOP!!!! That was the best gift anyone could give to me!!!! I watched the match....I havent watched an Arsenal match in Eons!!

Bestest Part: XXXXXX CALLED ME!!! heehehehe No names. Just think of  a celeb that can sing your clothes off...Yep. that one :D My friend put him up to it. She told him it was my birthday and thought he should give me a surprise call.

Well it started from a subliminal tweet ;-) i said something like "it's my birthday on the 28th and i wish you'd call me and sing to me..sigh...#ifwisheswerehorses.." Apparently, my friend who has friends in high places saw the tweet and went to work since she just know who i always rave about :D (No names :D) and booooooy was i surprised to the roots of my kinks! Me! The Nothing-can-ever-faze-me Ad....I was reduced to a blubbering messy mess. I think i said something like "OmyGod! OmyGod! OmyGod! OmyGod!  I'm hyperventilating...forgive me...OmyGod! OmyGod!" Poor guy! I'm sure he was thoroughly embarrassed.

I can't wait to meet you... #Subliminal :D

*insert 27 Cart wheels*

HE CALLED!! I took the call and said in my most business-like voice "Hello, goodmorning..." then he sang to me...oh he sang to me...*dreamy* Ohmadaiiiiizzzzz!!! He played his guitar and sang to ME!

I think I died and went to heaven...then I had to come back to earth at some point....back to reality.

Back at work.

That's the not so fun part...I'm at frigging work when i should be out getting my boogiieee on....Oh well...I got my dream man....sing to me before 8am....i cant win all na, abi?


So my first gift was The Man's voice *ohmadaizzzzzzzz*...then a bottle of Amarula followed...Then a phone. Who knows what the evening will bring?

*Fingerscrossed*


Friday, September 24, 2010

EKEREOBONG ZOE HANSON 1985-2010



I just heard that you passed. I heard and...and...I'm just sooo numb...sooo cold...those words were words you told me never to use...darling sister, those words are the only words i can think of right now...

Monday, July 12, 2010

I'm Bizaaaack...I think..

Hoi, Hoi! Hullo! Anyoone home? I know. I feel like a fraud already. Try not to flog me too hard. I know. Na me bizzy pass. But na true...sigh...I just taya for my self. This post may seem incoherent...Infact, this post will be incoherent cos i can't hear my self think.

kai, there was a time i had too much time on my handsss...I want those days back. Not really sha. I just need a vacay *insertsadfacesmiley* is that too much to ask???? I've been working fulltime for..17 months and save for sundays (which i forcefully took back by the way) I have not had a day off! If that is not crazy, i dont know what is...I feel like i'm gonna implode...or explode...or both...I just can't see my self and the TV in my office is not helping my state of mind at all...seriously TV can be such a *beep* but i found the mute button...He's such a great guy. Why i had to wait tilll now still beats me hollow.

See that's something i've been doing a lot lately...Procrastinate. I've become quite an authority on the matter. This post shoulda come early this A.M. *SMDH @ my self*

Haven't been tweeting a lot lately either....don't wanna bore people with my murderous thoughts...and trust me those thoughts have been harnessed by a certain spineless fella who thinks he can just wrap his tentacles around Spain and say to Germany "Y'all are going down." I mean. It's like. What.De.Fack. If i catch that Octopussy ehn, i shall make him predict how i shall cook his ass. msschew.

Ok. all this anger is also because i was supposed to go to SA *Sniff Sniff* That was the plan *Banging head on the wall* I was supposed to see all that beauty from the stand *Bawling bigtime* not from the fracking TV! *Blows nose* #okbye

This post doesn't make sense..sigh...continue, i shall (or shalt? Tee?) This is therapeutic...sigh...

Now in the line of sight of my mind is a truly annoying Gold Circle Condom Ad i saw last night. Which agency does these Gold circle Ads, biko nu? The thing is giffing me sleepless days and dreamless nights...sigh...#ontothenext

See, it hasn't been Morbido Express all the way...My first time on a bridal train happened this past saturday o_O...My gurl got marrieeeeeeeed o_O. To a dude we didn't take seriously back then O_O Who'd have thunk?? I was supposed to catch the bouquet ooo, hmm, but i was somewhere discussing matters of national importance...Half of the champagne ended up on my clutch purse sha...That counts for something na, abi?  'Nyways they's on the' honeymoon and homegurl says it's banging! I think it was a #punintended statement *adjusts halo* at least they're legal *halo re-adjusted* Two of the three musketeers married...and there was one...sigh...oh well...

I'm working on a new TV show and it's almost all mine :) almost..I shall get there...The show still dey pre-production and my blood level is blinking *refill* God dey sha..

Yeah, i also go my hair did +_+ yup! Got me a weave jare...The thing fine sha...Still can't wait to rock my 'fro. Yeah. I'm bush like that.

So the premiership shall soon commence. Wenger? Arsene Wenger, no do wetin go make me curse you and your fore-fathers o, Comprenez-vous ? I don't want any rubbish this season. Respectez-vous calmement et donnez nous un trophée, s'ogbo? Ok. 'Cos i have the proclivity to be violent, in other words: JE VOUS RECEVRAI..! Agwacha la m gi o!

I'm off.
Back to slavery.
Paid slavery.

Peace out!

P.S.
Somebody thought he was doing the world a favour...













....By doing this painting of Mandiba undergoing an Autopsy??? Says it was a kind of Tribute...tryna show that Mandela was a man afterall...I kent shout. His name is Yuill Damaso and i have one word for him: #Epicfail

Friday, May 28, 2010

Just another rant like post...By Mutabaruka aka Other Me

I search for Nirvana…


I thirst for freedom...

I long for the truth…

I pray for peace...

I live for happyness...
I believe in Kismet…

I won't grant her full control however...




I strive for 'perfecto'.

I know there'll be blocks...

I aim to climb them.

I shall woo serenity until she's mine.

I shall not wrestle insanity…

I pick my battles carefully and wisely.

I shall stalk Nirvana still...



I will assist in anchoring mediocrity at the bottom of the sea...

I shall ignore eccentricity, afterall, she and I are one.

I shall take joy...She is my betrothed.

I shall embrace knowledge.

I shall embrace knowledge in its entirety.

I shall wrestle with love, knock it down and make it my slave for evermore.

I shall want Nirvana still…





I shall live for Happiness

I shall live for the moment.

I shall stare fear down till it cowers and runs.

I shall try not to give in to pride...

I shall not be enslaved by Ire...or avarice…

As for Nirvana...I still yearn for her...

Even though I know she'll be elusive...forevermore…





©2010

Friday, May 21, 2010

Me: Some really random ish...

This is a boredom induced blog post...I thought since i haven't done a random meme in a while, why not! So, Here goes...



1. I love Music!
2. Don’t touch my books…I like you enough to not want books to come between us…because if I let you, they will.
3. I am the first of five children.....Ada n'eri ukwu anu, yes ke! (means the first daughter who eats the rump of the...whatever animal they wanna slaughter :) ok that's eewwy..)

4. I am a very good cook and I love experimenting with recipes...I do loooooooove cooking...Sadly, I haven't done a lot of cooking since i came back home. Reason? There are 4 other women in my house...I don't like competition. Especially when I’m better :-D I know hehehhee

5. I'm a veeeeeeeery restless person. You have no idea…I also bore easily...very easily...If it’s not capable of giving me a mind-gasm, I'll be yawning in no time... (This includes everything. Yes, Including Men)

6. My family like every other has it's up and downs...Sometimes It’s like “WTF?? Am i really part of this clan??” but I love them to death! Just so we don’t gerrit twixted :D

7. I am very Afrocentric AFRICAN...a NIGERIAN to the core of my being and the apex of my...lets not go there. Thing is, I love Nigeria that's why i'm oh-so irked at all these charlatanous individuals who call themselves leaders. That's why i say, PREPARE TO VOTE IN 2011! Enough is Enough!
8. I am not easily impressed.
9. I'm a trained Food Scientist turned trained Radio Producer/Scriptwriter...

10. I am a shopperholic...I would need therapy if i had the kinda money they mention in forbes...lol. thank God I'm not a Hilton...My life for Gbagaun (Thank Sir Scribbles for the phrase :-D) God help me, I'm tryna check my spending. (Kyrie Eleison...)

11. I.CRY...Contrary to what many believe...Trouble is I cry for the darndest things...at the most unlikely times...at the most "not-convenient" places...*sigh*
12. People close to me think I am stubborn...I think I got it from my father :-D
13. I dislike people "don't know" and wear it like a badge...More importantly, I dislike people who "do know" and shove it in other people's faces ever so tactlessly. *ok breathe*
14. I'm a "SEE" food person :-D
15. I love meat! I draw the line at Dogs...and Reptiles...and amphibians too...
16. I love fashion! Ok. I have a certificate in Fashion Designing. Before i got a job, i used to make all my clothes...I still do...ONLY when there's a wedding. Slap me later.
17. I don't appreciate male chauvinists.....I think they should be wiped out from the surface of the earth...or be cast into swine. #Okbye
18. I love red wine. Therapeutic :-D

19. I used to think Phil Collins was "blaaah" and poetry was wack. I used to be very foolish.
20. I say it as it is...I respect anyone like that too. If i hurt you, say it. I'm not likely to anyway...
21. I love sleep. Even more so now that i don't get much of it :(
22. I like having a good laugh...Groucho Marx, Mark Twain, Charlie Chaplin, Richard Pryor, IgoDie, Maleke, the two American Chrises...these are my dudes any day!
23. I have a thing for foine dudes...who doesn't? Ok. this 23 doesn't count.
24. I usually don’t give a flying or hopping frog what people think of me…It’s their thoughts na, not mine. Mine’s what matters joo…
25. I don tire joo..I thInk I’m done. You fit add your own.




Phew!!!!!!



-XX

Saturday, May 8, 2010

The Untitlable II: The Discombobulation of the Bug Eyed Female...


 Breathe…Breathe…

Tuesday afternoon tea with a very desirable young man…

Me: Really? Who’s she?

He:  “Oh! Some downright cute chick I met yesterday at the Matriculation Ceremony…”

….who’s smitten…Not by you…

 He: “I know what you’re thinking…October Rush, eh? Trust me. It’s nothing like that…”

…and the Son Of a Bitch is gonna give you a blow by blow account of it…

He: "…I mean…She’s something that girl…"

Tuesday afternoon tea gone sour…

He: “Wow wow! Don’t give me the look, please…I’m not breaking up with Abi because of this girl…Our 
break-up was gonna happen anyway…I just put a date to it is all…”

Son of a…!

Me: “Interesting…”

He: “Yeah! It’s not like we have a “great” relationship here…it’s just sex…”

TMI. TMI.

Me: “Err…Why are you telling me….these things?

He: “Because I find talking to you sooooo easy …”

EUREKA!! He found someone to talk to…FUCK YOU, Strawberry Lips!

“…and I like you…a lot...”

Huh?

He: “..And your eyes…I can’t stop thinking about them…”
Me: “Err…wait… weren’t we were talking  about your soon to be girlfriend…and your soon to be ex??”

SHUT UP. You know you wanna…

He: “Err…I was talking about you…You should’ve figured that out by now…”

HUH???

"...Thoughts going through my mind…I’m yearning but I should be reasonable about thi…"

He: “You’re not saying anything…”

He’s leaving her…NOT!

Me: “I’ve gotta go home…I have stuff to do…My aunt….”

lips...on your lips Virgo! It's a kiss…

"...Feather light…The kiss i'd fantasized and  dreamt about, FINALLY happens…No prior info…No major eye contact like in the Daggam movies and Novels i'd so depended on to school you on these matters…Nothing! Goshies!!! Mesmer has nothing on this feeling,…Melting bones… Lips locked…Toes curling…Then common sense comes up for air…

“What…What…You…Ehrm…”

FOOL.

“I kissed you…and I’d gladly go again….This is officially our first kiss (Insert Light chuckle) Over tea…In my parents’ house…(Insert Big grin)

 “The violent taketh by force…”

Gosshh...You’re retarded, Virgo...
 “What did you say…?“

Oya, answer na..

(Insert shaking of head) Naaah nothing…I was just thinking out loud…I thought my first kiss was gonna be over…Wine???

You wanted him to kiss you since you saw him now you complain of wine?? Oh look! Now he’s laughing at you...(sigh)

Me: “What are you laughing at..?

He: Did you say “First Kiss”??

DAMN…





Read "The Untitlable I" here.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Re: Marriage...

I just saw this on FB...Thought i'd share...


To those who are married...Not married...soon to be married...Want to get married eventually (In a relationship...)I hope you will be touched with this story...



"When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just
pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent
ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for
her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I
had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of
me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a
kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something
at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not
care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of
our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd
request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy
in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in
my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about
the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the
office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry
her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her
heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.." Do you have
a fever?" She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. "

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.



At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my
wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote," I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. "



That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I
run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.



The small details of your lives are what really matter. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank...These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's (partner's)  friend  and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up...




THE MOON...bY J.O.J

Hey Guys! (I'm just breezing through.) How're y'all doing?

This poem was done by an eleven year old friend of mine. I asked him if i could share it and he said yes. So here we go:

THE MOON
The moon  is  a  heavenly  body,
Rounded  so  holy  in the high skies,
From the  night skies, children ,
Who do have sleepless nights, gaze upon you.

 
The moon so  roundly majestic ,
With  the stars, who adorn your head,
You look like a bride awaiting her groom.
You are  precious to all  nightlovers,
As you brighten the night skies,
For ages gone & yet to come, 
God bless you MOON.

© J.D

I told him i'd marry a maxi him lol. I hope you found it as enthralling as i did. Y'all have a swell weekend.

(((krams)))

P.S.

RIP DaGRIN...We're gonna  miss you...

Friday, April 23, 2010

The Final Curtain Call...

DAGRIN died.

DaGrin died?? It was all over twitter. I was at my stylist's tryna get a weave on and the first thing i see on my timeline is:

"Is dagrin dead???"

I panicked. Then I said

"can some1 verify this dagrin gist and stop these bludeh rumours?!?!"

...and there it was:

"Ok its confirmd Dagrin is dead, my sis is a med student in Luth n she rang me crying like hell!!! RIP"

I just ripped.

"Shit." Was all i said. There was too much going on in my head but thatwas all i coul muster.

shit.

I was just starting to like the guy...He's just a wee one! 23 years onld..like WTF???!!

The sad part is that he was alive after the accident...How can someone be alive for seven days and then die? Our Health care system is this country is for shit...THAT'S HOW COME.

His life...and death should be a lesson to all of us young people...For those young 'uns who want to live fast...Die young and have a good looking corpse, they will...

This morning, I cried. For a life hardly spent. For a career that has been nipped in the bud. For us who now mourn. For the grin i will never see again...

I'm getting morbid...and incoherent...

I'm out.


















Good night DaGrin...Imma Miss Dat Grin..

Monday, April 12, 2010

The Untitleable.


Friday, September the 13th

The meeting.
Eyes to body. Shet.
Eyes to hair. Shucks.
Eyes to face. Shet!

Lips like strawberry…Thinking how I wanna eat it…
Abs. “I  wanna touch ya” My head said.
Stop!

Virgo, you’re not allowed.
Then he walks up.
He’s not alone.
“Meet my Girlfriend.”

The dying.
Stop!
Oh well.
WTF!
Stop. You’re not allowed!
Oh well.
 The parting.

“Oh! You live in this part of town? I live here too! 
Think of the girlfriend.  Think of the girlfriend.
Where? 
No. 
I’ll come visit you.”
No.
Oh Shet. Yes. No. Fuck it! Yes.

“Not with that ‘do.  Do something about it...my dad...”

The Visiting.
Hi.
Hi.
"You came."
"Yup."
"Err...Come in.."
"Nah…I’m just casing..."
 Laughter.And goodbyes.

The third Meeting.
That meeting.

The handshake.
The wanting of more.
The wakeup call.
He has a girlfriend!

The shocker.

“We’re breaking up...Me and my girlfriend.”

Bad grammar. What da heck. They’re breaking up.
You can have strawberry lips now!
Heish up!
Fuck.
“Why are you telling me.”
The First meeting of the eyes.
"Because I think I’ve just found the One."

Son of a bitch!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Ramble iN My Jangles...


lol..'sup peepul :D How's tings na? I hope market is moofing fain? ehen...I just say make i aksss" (Sheeet! that shit pisses me the heck off! it's ASK! OKk. Thanks.) 
This is just a random "bored-to-me-drawers" post. Not a rant...Just a....rant. 


Well i just had this overwhelming feeling to put something down...Fack. i've been tryna hook up a script but it looks like my muse has gone on a french leave (He didn't ask me) 


I'm still hooked on twitter...or twirra, like most of us razz peepuls can like to call that pweety birdie :) however, my sister from another mother told me about tweet stats today. 
Bottom line: My boss mustn't see that document. Nsogbu ga di. (Problem go dey lol)
Bottom-Bottom line:TWIHAB!! NOW!!!


But seriously, from one addiction to another...SMH at my self. That's anothr thing...all these short forms and acronyms...hmmm...i see somborri saying "LOL LOL" or "LMAO" instead of just laughing...or say "SHAKE MY HEAD" it's crazy  (I gats catch my sef some kain times sef) 


I cut my hair...again. Yup mowed down my 5 inch 'fro. Back down to 2"...it grows...i'm not worried abourrit...I'm worried about the spontaneity of the action...I was on my way home from work...Stopped at the barbers shop. Cropped it. No prior arrangement. No excuses. Nada.
My mom said to me when she saw the state of the nation mirrored through her daughter's hair "I fear for your state of mind..."
I said to her "I won't cut it again." 
Myself said to me "That was what you said the time befor the last...You not only cut it, you  got a mo'hawk and coloured it purple..."
There...


I have found that i can be slave driven and still have loadsa fun after hours! So i've found a new addiction...KARAOKE!!! Hehehhe (there i go again) Wednesdays and Saturdays will henceforth be dedicated to karaoke...uuuuh! I found...ok not exactly...a friend of mine took me and my sister from another mother to this karaoke bar on saturday and i'm still basking in the sheer beauty of it! Didn't know we had stuff like that on the mainland...it's kinda difficile for me to knock off from work on the mainland and buzz off to island to do karaoke...So, thanks to Ob for hooking a sister up :D *Now dreaming of tomorrow* 


My b*ss is still a major a.hole...Nothing's changed in that department. Things have Not improved. I'm gonna take a major decision soon...I miss me...Badly...I've got to sit down and work out where I stand...

There's something else...i think it's...it's a whole new post. Ex blues...


Meanwhila, I stumbulated upon on some remarkable philosophy...Enjoy hehehehee
  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of  me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave  me alone.
  • The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and  a leaky tire.
  • It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
  • Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  • No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  • Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  • Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a  warning to others.
  • It is far more impressive when others discover your good  qualities without your help.
  • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
  •  If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  • Don't squat with your spurs on.
  • If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
  • Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
  • Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes  from bad judgment
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and  put it back in your pocket.
  • Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
  • A closed mouth gathers no foot.  
  • Duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
  • There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.  
  • Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
  • Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.  

It's better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. 
-- Mark Twain

Friday, March 19, 2010

A Feminist Related Random Musing...Or Woreva...

Ok. this is not a real post (i've been saying that forever, abi?) But i just came about this...From Mary Poppins...It didn't make any sense at the time cos we basically mumbled through the lyrics, but a few minutes ago, i came upon it...Audio and Lyrics...and i sang along...and i wondered...
Jes' tell me what you think...


Sister Suffragette

We're clearly soldiers in petticoats
And dauntless crusaders for woman's votes
Though we adore men individually
We agree that as a group they're rather stupid!

Cast off the shackles of yesterday!
Shoulder to shoulder into the fray!
Our daughters' daughters will adore us
And they'll sign in grateful chorus
"Well done, Sister Suffragette!"

From Kensington to Billingsgate
(Dare I add other locations...like Beijing?)
One hears the restless cries!
From ev'ry corner of the land:
"Womankind, arise!"
Political equality and equal rights with men!

Take heart! For Missus Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!

No more the meek and mild subservients we!
We're fighting for our rights, militantly!
Never you fear!

So, cast off the shackles of yesterday!
Shoulder to shoulder into the fray!
Our daughters' daughters will adore us
And they'll sign in grateful chorus

"Well done! Well done!
Well done Sister Suffragette!"


 Is this what women really want?  D'you think they (Our daughters) would really? I'm Just musing and i thought i'd ask...

Saturday, January 9, 2010

The revolt: Dr. DoLittle kinda tings.




ADA!!!
Huh?
Uhm.. I’m alone in the house. Everyone’s out, that is. There is NO ONE home but me. The dog barks. She doesn’t talk…there’s no power so there’s no chance in hades that the radio or the TV doing things to my hearing
Still….
Voice: Hey…Ada!
Another Voice: Book Shelf!
Huh!?!?
Voice one: What happened?? We used to be great together…
Wtf!!
Me: Er…you are…?
Voice one: It’s me joo…Webster’s Dictionary, ahn ahn…this is abandonment o!
Me:  Right! I’m hallucinating thassit…that has to be IT…Suddenly my books are talking…
Websters: Hallucinating? You want me to tell you what it means?
Me: What?????
Roots: You’s mite lucky yours is jes’ ‘bandonment…I aint been read seconds and that dumb high yeller massa done teared me up…That stooopid boy! What’s the use of a history book if you done teared it to shreds…I nigh don’t know what my name is…where’s my page 348?
Me: But…
One flew over the cuckoo’s nest:  (Muffled Voice) She’s had me in her hand bag for over 2 months now…she’s still on page 64…I doubt she remembers who McMurphy is…I’m lucky I ain’t dog-eared yet…
Me: Hey, don’t even…
NEXT Newspaper: (Laughing jackal style from the sitting room) She bought me on Friday…it’s Monday. I’m still holding my news. Pfft!
Sewing machine: D’uh! I haven’t been greased…or oiled…let alone mounted in….in goodness knows how long…And I’m getting really cranky! Heck I feel like an aged whore…
Me: F*ck!
Lilac Ankara: She was supposed to make a dress out of me for a wedding…
Me: Aw, c’mon…
Brown Ankara: Lemme guess? She never made it to the wedding? Haha! Why am I not shocked?? Mschew!
Sketch Pad: She hasn’t drawn a thing since she drew that design for you o…
Me: I’m sorr…
The Hair Handbook: I know there’s nothing about negro hair on here but you must’ve bought me for a reason, Lady…
Me: You guys…
Beatles CD: At least she ripped me to her PC…Not the same as playing from a Deck tho’….
Other CDs:  (Murmuring their agreement)
The match breaker: Errr…You still haven’t found my jacket.
Me: Er…(Scratching my head)
Sudoku: I’ve lost my voice…From crying…Crossword’s in a Coma right now…
The sounding board of a bizzy bee:  So make I dey cry, ba? Because na everyday she dey apologize…
At this point, I’m thinking “This is crazy!! Fracking, stark raving mad!”
Next thing I know:
Unread books: Why did you buy us if you won’t read us? We need answers or we’ll sue!
Me: SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!
…Someone’s tapping me…
C: Wake up!
My sister too??
C: You’re sleep talking joo, I’m trying to sleep!


-XX