Friday, December 27, 2013

It was a very good year...

When I was was a very good year
It had ups,
It had downs,
But It went my way...

Kept most of the promises I made to me
Some good,
Some horrid *gasps*
But it was all me.

When I was 29, it was a very fine year,
I learnt some important
lessons in friendship,
And it was all good.

No regrets.
No. Not one.
Are there things I woulda done



Thanks for being such a sport, 29.
A robust note, I shall write.


Hello 30.
It's good to finally meet you.
You and I will make good music me.


FYI, We're stuck with 22. Don't try to kick her out. You can't. ;-)

Sunday, October 13, 2013




The finality of death.

It hurts like hell, Tosan...It hurts to talk about you in past tense. If tears could bring you back, you'd be here right now showing off one of your designs...I would be critiquing right now and you'd be telling me how you didn't get much sleep.

I remember the first day we met. Sy's birthday party. The definition of a gentleman. I never heard you raise your voice, man. That smile was always on your face...even when you were mad. The day you explained why you preferred to be called "Tosan" instead of "Tosin". I remember laughing so hard.


Taught me everything I know about graphic design...enough to get me out of scrapes. I remember how you gushed about my work and told me I could get good at it.


The days when I'd walk into the boardroom at the office and you would be there 'coz you worked overnight on some design or the other...How we both had those "Don't disturb" SIM Cards and would cover for each other...How you'd say "Calm down" when I was having one of my moments.


Dead. DEAD.


Rest in Peace, my dear friend, brother, were one of a kind.

Rest in Peace.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Mr Not Exactly Right

I hate hook ups. Absolutely hate them. Not just because they hardly ever work for me but more because it takes away the excitement of...of what though? I don't know right now but I know I somehow, always have to find a way to shut it down.

See, half the time, folks are trying to set me up with men they think will be "good for me"...really...I won't be mad If y'all are setting me up with the kind of men y'all have seen me with na. Is that too much to ask?

In the last 4 months, 3 people have tried to set me up with someone "fabulous" and trust me, this thing isn't funny.

1. A 40 something year old man who after the first few messages starts to compare me with "Nkem" whom he should have married but was "too blind" to see her worth at the time. Sigh. The things I see. Need I mention that he has "zilchero" sense of humour.

2. Heelarious 40 something year old who about 20 minutes into our first phone conversation asked me what kinda underwear I like and If I shaved clean or...I didn't wait for the rest of the question.

3. Turned out this very hot 30 something year old has a glistening 4th finger band and was just tryna "score". He's lucky we never met.

The crap singletons have to go through. Like being single is now a crime punishable by horrible match making!
Seriously, why can't folks just leave me?  I mean, If they are going to find me a man, can you at least get it right? WTH? Mscheeew.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Quarter-life crisis...I guess.

Today's Favourite quote: “The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” ― Augustine of Hippo

Nursing a cup of coffee...It's one of those Monday mornings.
Sokugo - also known as wanderlust - is back.


I had a sublime weekend.

Saturday: Met with old friends. Struck up new relationships. Wore a dress and High heels. Went out. Had fun. For the first time in 4 months. 

Sunday: Was going fine till a certain dim-wit derailed my happy train. I even got to work early. (:-0)


This can't be lethargy I feel...The familiar need for air...It's funny because I only just got here.


I know. 

I'm about to do something "crazy".

I need to do this one "crazy" thing...but I wait. 

I wait.

For the right time.


I just realized that I posted my 92nd post...sigh...Sigh.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Join the conversation @

There is no excuse whatsoever for not posting something here. It is what it is. Laziness. Pure and Simple... Sigh. 

Anyhoos, HERE lies my second installment for the3six5ng project. If you haven't heard of it, read all about it HERE. 

Oh...THIS here was my first post way back in March. Enjoy...and sign up while you're at it. I shall now go back to counting sheep. 


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Randomery...Jes' coz ah ken :p



I'm officially sick of living in a hotel. Sadly, getting a place in this my new hangout is a job for the spartans, walahi. Sotay they are asking for me to pay rent for 2 years. 2 years! What if get bored in a year? What happens then? The moment they hear you're from a radio station, they immediately see money pouring out of all your orifices! Hiaa


I really should stop watching the news. I should just watch movies instead. Comedy flicks. There's too much sadness in this world :(  


My Brother's fine. Sister's got through to him finally. His place is fine too. My uncle's place is another story. Thankfully, no one's hurt. Just a little shaken.


If I don't eat ham again, it'll be too soon. My stomach probably has a special compartment for all the ham i've eaten in the last 6 weeks. I need to pay for a place soon. This is madness! 


My P90X Videos are just busy pointing at me and laughing. This is me who wants a beach body by August. *Points and Laughs* I have to be sexy by Christmas. *remembers bathroom scale result from this a.m* This is not good for my heart  :| I have to be ripped mehhhn! 
Fluffy has to go :|


Two nights ago, I started out of bed. I couldn't breathe. I ran to the door, opened it, praying I wouldn't have to crawl out for help. I didn't. I got better. I still don't know what happened. I just couldn't breathe. I was so disoriented. A visit to the doctor is necessary, I reckon. 


Living alone is the best thing since coca cola but mehnnnn...just pray say nothing do you.


I've gotta split. 

Sleep well y'all. It is gonna be an early night pour moi.


Monday, June 24, 2013

Insomnia and all her friends...


Shift done and dusted.

Tucked in for the night but for some weird reason, I can't sleep.

Of course my mind start to wander...I find myself seriously debating with myself:

What does it matter what people think about you?
Well, actually, "What would people say about you?"

If you were to carry out a survey on yourself, what will people say you are?

I guess I should just concern myself with counting goslings...

I should just go to sleep.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

In the last few months, I've had so much to write. So much. So many things that have somehow refused to be written. If I had a body-slam for every time I opened this blog and closed it without updating, I'd probably have a permanent space at Igbobi by now.

It's something I can't wrap my head around.

Having something to say yet not having attendant enthusiasm to follow through with actually saying it.

Sometimes I flip open my notepad and write a few words, hoping to come back and break them into tangible paragraphs...I never get around to.

One would think that a new job with better hours and real ass down times spent in a hotel room without distractions would give me time to actually put pen to paper...or fingers to keyboard :(

There was so much to talk about. So much. The tiny snag is collecting these thoughts...Collecting them is a huge chore.

I just don't find the mental strength mostly because half of the time it is morbidity galore. Can't blame me. There aren't a lot of happy stuff going on in the world today. Kids killing themselves like it's going out of fashion. For instance, Cousin C. (30 Yrs old) died birthing her first child almost 12 weeks ago, I had a lot to say...Cousin O. (33 Yrs old) died exactly 2 weeks after Cousin C's funeral...I had oodles to say...most of them expletives...I also had a lot to write about the Italian girl who killed herself because she was being bullied on Facebook by schoolmates. I cried when Jiah killed herself because she couldn't take the rejection from her boyfriend. I had a lot to say...but all I saw was a BLOCKADE.

The same feeling every time.

No words.

However, recently, I read something on writers' block: "There's no such thing as writers' block" *huh??* "The cure to to writers block is to keep writing." How??? I asked. Then it occurred to me that the writer was PROBABLY right. If one gives in to writers' block, one may never write another word again because it never goes away. So, one must trudge on.
One must get one's groove back.


One tried again last night.


I turned on the TV to try relax and the first thing I saw was the Alberta, Canada flood report and I just burst into tears. Reason being that my baby brother lives in Calgary and I immediately tried to reach him and got his voicemail. (I've still not been a able to reach him) I was worried for one long moment then It struck me: "Why worry, when you can pray?"
So I prayed. The good Lord takes care of his own.

Anyway, the news went on with more heartbreaking items:

India floods...hunger, refugee camps etc
Turkey Protests
Brazil Protests...

Apparently, Good news is no news...Sigh. I was glad when open court came on. I watched some of my tennis heroes past and just when I was gearing up to write something cool, the Le Mans - Allan Simonsen tragedy popped on the screen.

I gave up.


For where.

The universe isn't done with me just yet.

Madiba is critical.
Nigeria's out of the Confed Cup.


I have a lot to say but It's time for my shift.

Let's do after later.

Friday, June 21, 2013

A Super Eagles Induced Rant :|

Watching Spain wallop Tahiti wasn't exactly the way I planned to spend my evening so I decided to get my beauty sleep. I set my alarm for 11pm. There was no way I was gonna miss Nigeria's match.

I should have just slept jejely and watched the re-run today.

Did you see that game???


Honestly, Brown Ideye should just make sure I don't catch him in a dark corner. The things I will do to him ehn, he won't believe it.

There were so many errors...Like they would say in tennis, "Unforced Errors". Lugano's goal for example, had no business being a goal had Efe Ambrose not stood right there like an effing figurine. We would've at least come off that encounter with a draw.

Echiejile and Musa and Ideye's misses....legendary! I will  tell my grandbabies all about them! What????

Musa is definitely not the Musa that I fell in love with. He's started eating money abi? Let me catch him. This is the point where I say I missed Victor Moses and Emmanuel Emenike...and even Osaze Blabbermouth Odemwingie sef. Sigh.

18 matches unbeaten and we gave it away to Uruguay in one moment of madness! To think these *insert expletive here* were planing on having a party coz we beat Tahiti. TAHITI!!! Hand falling on a kentro level y'all! Na una mates sama dem 10 - 0 o!

I dey vex joo

Look, I'm not saying they didn't "try" considering their complaints of jet-lag and a tight schedule of friendlies/qualifiers/training etc, but come on! They didn't exactly play like champions all the way. They were sleepy at some point and that cost us the match.

My major grouse is that I lost sleep and we lost the match :|
Now I'm at work, feeling like crap, hoping that I somehow get through the next 6 hours (my eyes be like flashlight wey im battery don dey die)


Thursday, June 20, 2013


It's a beautiful Thursday afternoon and I've missed this place.


I'm on break at work. My Skype date is forming busy and I'm trying to get my mom on the phone. Somehow in the middle of all that, I finally mustered a stream of coherent thoughts to put on here.

I haven't had a lot of those in the last 5 weeks...coherent thoughts, that least when I'm not working. The last 5 weeks have been trying. However,

Between swapping jobs and pay-cheques :D (Again)
Between swapping sweet smelling nature for city smoke and dirt (Again)
Between swapping my homey flat for a limited hotel room :(
Between swapping my kitchen and its inviting smells for hotel food, dodgy restaurants and one too many mince pies & cup cakes :'(
Between swapping 100% health for Typhoid and Malaria ++ and Hives (sigh)

I'm actually a very happy woman :)

New job!
*attempts azeunteu...erhmm...not a great idea*

My hours are awesome! My job is awesome! My colleagues...err....some of them are awesome...others....well, I just want to smack 'em. Yep. The ones that think being a presenter means you should speak with a flipping contrived accent...I just want to smack 'em  upside the head...with a book.

What did you think? A hatchet?
You sef.

Okay, the thought did cross my mind but then I thought "to early. a few more days..."

Jes' Kidding records dot com


I'm just glad to be here after such a long time.

*In James Brown's Cackle* I feeeeeel Gooood!
Ehen, before I commence a-babbling, lemme get beck ta werk...Mama gats wait till after my shift mehn...

I will be back!


Monday, March 11, 2013

Music Monday...Sorta :s

You see, this is one of those Mondays and I was determined to make it work so I place my big ol' headphones on my head and decided to roll with Jazz, thanks to T.Notes' post. Anita O'Day, Michael Franks, Dave Koz, Norah Jones, Al Jarreau....the whole nine yards. Anyways, somehow I progressed to soft I find myself hanging with the Platters and The Chi-lites and Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes and their brethren and somehow I kept coming back to "The Great Pretender", like the smarty pants I pretend I am, I decided to spill it here....thinking it would get out of my head...

Yap. So there's I was scouting for a video to put up....just when I thought I was done, I found Freddy Mecury's cover....sigh....

Let's just say, I traded one cognitive itch for another. Issorai.

Y'all enjoy the rest of the day!


Yap. I changed my display name. Peer pressure is real.


Sunday, February 24, 2013

The "One Percent Project"

Hi people! 

Happy new year!  

Oh I said that already. Drat. It's been ages. Bizzy bee things. Forgive me. As it is, I'm not even really blogging. I just have some information to share and I hope you share after reading. I pray you share after reading ;)

 So, my sister from another mother, Temite, has this laudable initiative she's been working on and I thought I'd share it on here for those of y'all whose email addresses I don't have :D 

Here's the story as told by the beautiful people at One Percent Project:

On February 14, 2013, the One Percent Project launched an initiative to get 10,000 Nigerians to commit to blood donation to save lives.

Blood saves lives and we believe that the shortage of blood in many hospitals in Nigeria is absolutely unacceptable. In Nigeria, making blood available for each individual in an emergency can save 13,500 women every year and even more children under-5. There is no synthetic substitute for blood and blood from 100% non-remunerated volunteer donors is the only replacement. Thus,the goal of the One Percent Project Initiative is to work on making blood available for those who need it.

Why Should You Donate Your Blood?
Choosing to give a unit of this “precious gift of life” saves lives of those in dire need of blood. Nigeria needs just 1% to give blood regularly to ensure that in cases of emergency quality blood is always available for patients who need it.

Who Needs Blood?
Thousands of people would die daily if there is no sufficient blood in blood banks around the country. If one donates blood, the donor gives the patient the gift money cannot buy and science cannot create. A pint of blood can equal three gifts of life.

Below are categories of people who need blood transfusion:
  • Women hemorrhaging due to pregnancy complication;
  • Children with severe anemia;
  • Accident victims; 
  • Surgical patients;
  • Cancer patients. 

To help reach the goal of 10,000 people committed to blood donation, SPREAD THE WORD. Visit the website - to learn more about this initiative. Tweet about it. Talk about it on Facebook and LinkedIn. Blog about it. Yes! 
By all means, copy this information and send to all your email contacts! More people = More Blood = More Lives Saved!

Sample Tweets/Facebook Updates:
Did you know giving blood regularly makes you a hero? Sign up to become a blood donor today. It takes 2 minutes. 

Blood saves pregnant women, children with severe anemia, accident victims, victims of terrorism, surgical and cancer patients. It takes 2 minutes to sign up and become a hero.
Only one pint of your blood can save three lives. Sign up today and commit to blood donation. #2minutes. 

These are just sample messages; please feel free to edit it to suit your audience. 
Please request images of blood donors or find some on the donor site @ if that helps to pass the message better.

Thank you!

This is it folks. It is ongoing and I hope I have your support...On Temite's behalf. Now go forth and spread the word. Ngwa, I'm begging you to share this. Everywhere imaginable. Just copy and paste. Shikena! Thank you, o! Ezigbo mmadu :) 
Let's do this!

You know I love y'all right. I'm tryna clear the cobwebs clogging up the top of my creative juice mug. They seem to have been spun by spiderman on steroids. Once I get that done...


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Bobby Bushay - All or Nothing

Happy New year Luvvies :)

2013 never start e don dey fleece me! lol
This here year has been quite eventful so far but this isn't that post. This is a "Hey wassapppp! I've missed you!" Post.
I'll do a real post soon...

Meanwhile, this right here...

 my baby bros music.

Thought I'd share.

Show the youngin some love :)



Thursday, December 27, 2012

Goodnight 28...Good morning 29 :)

So it’s about 2 hours before my 29th year on mother earth begins.

Do I feel older?




I feel like Methuselah yo. I learnt things I didn't think were possible. I soared heights I didn't know existed. I hit depths I didn't think possible and I’m really thankful to God for it was a good year…On a scale of 1-10, "WE" ROCKED A 7!

A lot happened with me this year…This year, I had an “spiritual awakening”. Some kinda mini break :D down. No I never felt like committing me-cide. I came quite close to wringing some necks…none mine.

For those who saw it and were there for me (…some of which don’t know this here joint exists though lol), I want to say thank you.

For those who didn’t understand and thought I was just being an asshole, I wanna say, I understand. We’re still family :)

In the last few weeks, I’ve had all kinds of emotions coursing through my body.

High. Low. Low. High again and posting countdowns on twitter lol

Pre-Birthday jitters. lol

I feel great! Happy. Proud. Thankful :) 

I’m ready to walk through that door and actually “Live” my life for once. I’m willing to shed my “workaholic” badge and see what life could be like outside of work.

I’ve realized, albeit in my old age (lol) that… I don’t remember what I realized. sigh. Dem plenty.
Okay I remember: I've finally accepted the fact that I can not help everyone and that I need to start helping meself. I need to start thinking of me. I’m going to be less stressed this year. I fully intend to relax more. 


Play Tennis



Whatever makes me gay…Imma do it with reckless abandon and I mean it this time. I really do.

I wanna say thank you to those who still read this blog, despite all. It surprises me to comments still.
I have no excuse. Things should get better. Promise.


I’m off to my pre-birthday parteyyyyy *WOOP WOOP* 

Lemme just say this before I go:

Dear 28,

You were a sport and *In Sarah McLachlan’s voice*  “I will remember you….” but it’s unto the next.


This is to my last year as a twenty-something-year-old :D 


Off to boogey down!



Please blame GEJ for any errors. It's almost my birthday joo. Cut a girl some slack :p

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

To Mom and Dad!

 Music: Semi Colon - Slim fit Maggie

   On this day 30 years ago, a certain Gem said "I do!" to a certain E.E.

On this day in history, they had a big wedding.

The dress still hangs in Gem's closet...Tulle and Satin mix yellowed with age...Sterling silver tiara's still good as new...

The marriage...The marriage has received it's own fair share of blows...It has hit a few air-pockets and has come into it's own.

Gem and E.E.? Still crazy about each other...

Today it's their 30th Wedding Anniversary.


I'd have loved to send them to somewhere exotic...somewhere they could just RELAX and forget their 5 chilluns who can actually take care of themselves (We never grow up with our parents....sigh)

In time...In time...

Anyways, for now, I'm raising my glass... the bestest parents EVER...Mazeltov!!



Yeah they had me exactly 10 days short of a year later :D 

....and yeah...I'm sipping wine at work. Bite...and apple :D 

Post-Post-Post Note: 
This post was written yesterday...for some strange and sadly, incomprehensible reason, I didn't post it. Thanks for reading :) 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Touching base...

Eyes smarting.
Bones tired.
Spirit vexed by a certain obnoxious humanoid.
Feeling the beginnings of what might be a fever :(
Trying hard to keep my eyes open long enough to say for this moan-fest...a quick hello...

...and a goodbye.

Warm regards,


Let's "talk" soon :)

Monday, December 3, 2012

Randomery...I think :|

Darling Ladies and Gentlemen who still come this way and actually read my...stuff...sigh, how are y'all this lovely December morn?

I present to y'all my lame attempt at writing something here...I ask your forgiveness in advance if it isn't worth your 2 minutes. I must warn however: There's more where this is coming from :|

So here:

No Title (Forgiveness)

How can I be
when all you are is what you are?

How can I exist
when all that I am is all that was slayed?

How can I feel
when all that I am is all that was purged?

How can I muse
when all that I am is all that is isolated?

How can I forsee
When all that I am is all that was screened?

How can I heed
When all that I am is all that was misread?

How can I breed
When all that I am is all that was flawed?

How can I be hallowed
when all I am is less than I should be and all
that I should be may have been lost

to time and space and impulse.
Done with.


Y'all have an awesome week!

In other news, it's my birthday in 25 days :D :D

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

"I have Issues." - Tin Lizzie

On a call I received a while ago...and other related akuko:

I don't think I've met anyone who hasn't one had a period in their life when everything was stormy and tumultuous... when it seemed that the devil came out to play... with all his demons and their relatives...whereby you felt like you were smack in the middle of a major hurricane and whereby the said hurricane left you in a state that can only be likened to a shipwreck without dry land or even an empty lighthouse in sight....whereby you were at the point where you just wanted to tear something down while screaming banshee-like "Are we there yet?"


No. I haven't.

Okay maybe not. Maybe not everyone has had it that bad. However, surely most people have been at that low point in their lives where they thought they couldn't possibly go any lower? Therefore, tumults and storms are part of the package  called "Vie", oui?


That's settled then.

So! That brings me to a certain micro-analysis on dealing with "issues":

1. Some people actually take this period "well". Wear a mask and pretend "all is well". They even say it to themselves several times a day just to keep the smile in place...then they go back to their beds at night and actually witness the sun's majestic migration to the east.

2. There's a certain group of humanoids who deal with their own storms by attempting to drown them in all kinds of substances...or activities, either to  temporarily and dull their senses to suffering and pain...or to murk up their minds so that they have that (albeit fleeting) luxury of not being "present" enough to dwell on their "woes". I know. I belonged to this group for a wee while.

3. Others just take a running job. These are professional racers. Some were born, others circumstances. Unfortunately, I was born this, i'd rather run to the land of far far away than look a storm in the face. There's a part of me that still wants to be this...Its far easier. No baggage. No attachments. No worries.


Yeah, I know. I was born this, remember? It's a survival technique that does f&@kall for your relationship with the human race.

~See with these three kinds of sufferers, they're still steeped crown-deep in their worries. Their techniques haven't nicked their wahala 'coz whatever it is, still resides in their minds full time.~

4. Now, there's a curious group of sufferers who just take these occurrences in their lives as a fate which they cannot avoid and bestride their super-storm like a colossus and actually live happily...genuinely. >>FAITH<< Fighting through 'em hail of stones and falling trees to save them.

See, I moved house. I think imma be here permanently. The rent is good. My days of yo-yoing maybe are over.


I've also learnt to travel in a barouche with my storm. That way, he's right in front of me and I know what he's up to at every point. When we eventually get to his stop, he'll get off. It's not easy,b but it's usually worth it. This is what the Bible calls the "anchorage of the soul" and "...however severe the storm that sweeps over the earth, the soul that shelters there is safe." (I read this somewhere..)

I'm currently honing the art of concerning myself with finding out why Mr Storm E. Weather showed up in my life in the first place...There's usually a good reason. A lesson to be learnt.

Sometimes I write about it, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I even write about it in my thoughts. lol. I have whole posts in my head. They just never make it here. Or there. This is how I know to deal with the "its". Luckily, I have the gumption to speak...write about my worries and fears even if it's to a sounding board that'll never talk back. lol

So, Dear XA, No I'm not having a breakdown. That ship sailed already. Thanks for asking though :) As long as I'm on this path, I'll be A-okay :D

Okay. I know I'll still race from a few more things before Armageddon. It's in my nature. First instinct and shiiii...However, the rules have changed somewhat. I won't just balk and run. It has to be the last item on the list of "Ways to go".


Now that we've got that off the cranium, we'll just get back to a certain quasi-dissertation.


One more thang:

Vulnerability isn't weakness.


Sunday, October 28, 2012

Random Sunday: Of Grammar and Resignations.


Hallos y'all :)
How's it going this sunday?

I'm at the point were my sides are aching from laughter and I just thought I'd share lol
See, I was going through my old mails...i'm talking 12-13 years ago.

Some nostalgic stuff. Pen Pals...Boyfriend...Toasters...sigh...The jokes. lol. One of the jokes is responsible for this post.A friend of mine sent it to me in 'O5 and lawdy...

Just read:

Hello guys, 

Below is a resignation letter I stumbled across. There would have been nothing to it but this letter was actually bearing a signature of approval.
Here it goes:
Dear Sir,
Tribute, gratitude and steadfast to uplift the company edge, waxing stronger and reference to development in education and knowledge; and for the completion of the course of study period 2003 to 2005 as a marketing student under the department of business and communication at the polytechnic Ibadan HND.
And in order not to vituperate the ethnic, absentism and maverick to the duty, I hereby disburse my thwart.
Source undisclosed for obvious reasons.
Y'all have an awesome Sunday...Okay...enjoy what's left of it :) 

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Rules? What rules?

*Clears throat*

I refuse to get used to the apparent fact that the apparent average distance between my posts is 4 weeks. Apparently outrageous but i'm not giving up.

Anyways, I have the strongest urge to scribble so, here I am. I hope it all makes sense in the end. I'm not sure what's happening to me. In geek terms, this is what I get when I try to reach me:

Unable to Locate Host.

I'm not sure if the Host server is down or If the "Intranet" connection is lost...or if there's something I'm doing incorrectly. Oh well, Whatever happens, I'll find out....sooner hopefully.

Anyways, back to today's rant. It's a topic I'm passionate about and I thought i'd just drop my 2 pence in the offering box and be on my way. 


See, the intention of this post is not to impugn the laws of relationships. No. The intention is to chuck the hell out of them (even if the writer has Ph.D after their name)...and this is my humble opinion so feel free to chuck 'em at any point 'cause...


Moving on...

All these relationship tips and rules...."Ten rules to get him to love you...15 rules for dating workaholic...5 ways to get him to put a ring on it in 6 weeks or less..." etcetera etcetera etcetera...They're driving me nuts!

You think you can just read up a few books, listen to a few myopic views (That's what they are, like it or not, most people write from personal experience) snap your fingers and play the mating game?

I was talking with someone that belongs to a certain (sad) school of thought who believe that "If he doesn't call you at least 3 times daily, sisteh, he aint into you. Forget that texting ish. If he likes you, he's gonna wanna hear your voice more than once a day!"

I've heard this so  many times and I'm thinking "Wahts ghet ab, brethren?"


Personally, if I were seeing a guy, I'd probably not call him that much...and that's a guy I'm totally INTO! I may text the hell outta him...Or IM...or just send random, sometimes totally random pictures...So I think I've kinda sorta squashed that rule....oh shoot! I'm a girl. **scoffs**

Anyways, same goes for all the other blighted rules of engagement as far as relationships are concerned. Who makes these blighted rules anyways? Some of them stink right up to the firmament. (Long market woman hiss)

In my very short life among mortals, I have heard quite a few outrageous "rules" or "tips" (Someof which I tried when I was younger and stupid-er) and I'll share some of them here:

One of my favorites -
"If a guy makes eye contact with you and keeps it locked for a few moments and then (wait for it), smiles, he's totally hitting on yo' azz!"

Hello? In my myopic personal opinion slash Experience slash Vicarious experience, YOU PROBABLY LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HE KNOWS...He probabbly wants to ask if you're Alex's sister because "..the resemblance is uncanny!"

Here's another crazy rule:
"You cannot tell a guy you like him coz he gon' think yo azz is a cheap farm tool."

Check this: A woman finds a guy she likes, she send him all the signals in the book...No dice. See, I'm not talking stalker crazy chica or gold digger types. i'm talking for reals. She's only looking for love...and now she's stuck in a rut. She can't tell the negro (a causasian or whatever rocks yer boat) that she likes him "...coz the rule say so" That poor woman may have lost the love of her life to that sad, sad rule.

Oh gee! This one is a favourite among the menfolk and it cracks me up more than a tad bit:
"If she's "too nice" to you, she's totally gonna bed yo azz!"

smhvvv...Yeah! She may be hitting on you...OR NOT. Have you thought of the tiny possibility that maybe you've been placed high above the f&%k-buddy-zone to the prestigious "friend-zone"...or the balanced I-see-my-future-kids-in-you-zone...Think about it before y'all end up like a couple of people I know who married other people (and are both utterly miserable) after dancing around each other for long years of "f&%K-Buddy"ship. Pitiful situation. (Yes, I see just how one sided this is. Aren't you tired of seeing the other side?)

Let me just say here: Not every girl who smiles at you would like to sleep with you.

Moving on some more.

IMHO, if you're willing to take all  the relationship advice you've heard and read over time, then you, my darling, don enter one-chance which one of two things may happen: You may end up giddy with excitement and fulfillment or...uhmm...remember that puke-fest scene in Problem child 2? Youp Youp! (#NoVicO btw) You probably will end up with vomit all over your mac-finished face, dear lady or your absolutely fabulous self, my fine young man and that's not all.

No. That may be all.

Don't get me twixtid. There are some tell tale signs that a guy's a cad or that a girl is just with you because your brother won't get with her...or that the dude totally digs yo azz....or some other crazy shyt like that. There are sure signs. It's these superfluous rules I have issues with.

Since when did we need laws to love? laws and procedures are dumb. In My Humble Opinion (Recovering Opinionista. Pardon me.) they ensure you don't need to think for yourself..."if this happens, then this gives..." bull-dung...and I say this in the most christian manner.

A really wise man (Barry Schwartz, I think) once said and I quote: "moral skill is chipped away by the over reliance on rules that deprive us of the opportunity to improvise and learn from our improvisations..."

It made a lot of much sense then as he was talking about life in totallement...It does now that I think of in relation to relationships. The top and bottom line are: There are no rules! Let me rephrase: THERE SHOULD BE NO RULES. Let's face it: some of these so called rules work across board and sometimes...more times than we care to let on, some of these rules work at cross purposes with the peculiarities of our various relationships. 

Relationships aren't classical music. They, in fact, should be like jazz, where you look at the notes and yet improvise...that's the flavour. (Barry {i think} is a very wise man)

Like I said earlier, I always like to give my myopia voice so feel free to disagree.


I'm still gonna write that's supposed to be a confession...One crazy weekend...Uhmm ...sigh. Let's just say I'll put that one under "Plan never-ever-think about-it". *ZIP*

I have a blog that has been comatose for getting on to 3 years now...what am I gonna do with me?

Cognitive itch: Michael Franks - Monkey See, Monkey Do