Saturday, January 9, 2010

The revolt: Dr. DoLittle kinda tings.




ADA!!!
Huh?
Uhm.. I’m alone in the house. Everyone’s out, that is. There is NO ONE home but me. The dog barks. She doesn’t talk…there’s no power so there’s no chance in hades that the radio or the TV doing things to my hearing
Still….
Voice: Hey…Ada!
Another Voice: Book Shelf!
Huh!?!?
Voice one: What happened?? We used to be great together…
Wtf!!
Me: Er…you are…?
Voice one: It’s me joo…Webster’s Dictionary, ahn ahn…this is abandonment o!
Me:  Right! I’m hallucinating thassit…that has to be IT…Suddenly my books are talking…
Websters: Hallucinating? You want me to tell you what it means?
Me: What?????
Roots: You’s mite lucky yours is jes’ ‘bandonment…I aint been read seconds and that dumb high yeller massa done teared me up…That stooopid boy! What’s the use of a history book if you done teared it to shreds…I nigh don’t know what my name is…where’s my page 348?
Me: But…
One flew over the cuckoo’s nest:  (Muffled Voice) She’s had me in her hand bag for over 2 months now…she’s still on page 64…I doubt she remembers who McMurphy is…I’m lucky I ain’t dog-eared yet…
Me: Hey, don’t even…
NEXT Newspaper: (Laughing jackal style from the sitting room) She bought me on Friday…it’s Monday. I’m still holding my news. Pfft!
Sewing machine: D’uh! I haven’t been greased…or oiled…let alone mounted in….in goodness knows how long…And I’m getting really cranky! Heck I feel like an aged whore…
Me: F*ck!
Lilac Ankara: She was supposed to make a dress out of me for a wedding…
Me: Aw, c’mon…
Brown Ankara: Lemme guess? She never made it to the wedding? Haha! Why am I not shocked?? Mschew!
Sketch Pad: She hasn’t drawn a thing since she drew that design for you o…
Me: I’m sorr…
The Hair Handbook: I know there’s nothing about negro hair on here but you must’ve bought me for a reason, Lady…
Me: You guys…
Beatles CD: At least she ripped me to her PC…Not the same as playing from a Deck tho’….
Other CDs:  (Murmuring their agreement)
The match breaker: Errr…You still haven’t found my jacket.
Me: Er…(Scratching my head)
Sudoku: I’ve lost my voice…From crying…Crossword’s in a Coma right now…
The sounding board of a bizzy bee:  So make I dey cry, ba? Because na everyday she dey apologize…
At this point, I’m thinking “This is crazy!! Fracking, stark raving mad!”
Next thing I know:
Unread books: Why did you buy us if you won’t read us? We need answers or we’ll sue!
Me: SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!
…Someone’s tapping me…
C: Wake up!
My sister too??
C: You’re sleep talking joo, I’m trying to sleep!


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