Saturday, January 9, 2010

The revolt: Dr. DoLittle kinda tings.




ADA!!!
Huh?
Uhm.. I’m alone in the house. Everyone’s out, that is. There is NO ONE home but me. The dog barks. She doesn’t talk…there’s no power so there’s no chance in hades that the radio or the TV doing things to my hearing
Still….
Voice: Hey…Ada!
Another Voice: Book Shelf!
Huh!?!?
Voice one: What happened?? We used to be great together…
Wtf!!
Me: Er…you are…?
Voice one: It’s me joo…Webster’s Dictionary, ahn ahn…this is abandonment o!
Me:  Right! I’m hallucinating thassit…that has to be IT…Suddenly my books are talking…
Websters: Hallucinating? You want me to tell you what it means?
Me: What?????
Roots: You’s mite lucky yours is jes’ ‘bandonment…I aint been read seconds and that dumb high yeller massa done teared me up…That stooopid boy! What’s the use of a history book if you done teared it to shreds…I nigh don’t know what my name is…where’s my page 348?
Me: But…
One flew over the cuckoo’s nest:  (Muffled Voice) She’s had me in her hand bag for over 2 months now…she’s still on page 64…I doubt she remembers who McMurphy is…I’m lucky I ain’t dog-eared yet…
Me: Hey, don’t even…
NEXT Newspaper: (Laughing jackal style from the sitting room) She bought me on Friday…it’s Monday. I’m still holding my news. Pfft!
Sewing machine: D’uh! I haven’t been greased…or oiled…let alone mounted in….in goodness knows how long…And I’m getting really cranky! Heck I feel like an aged whore…
Me: F*ck!
Lilac Ankara: She was supposed to make a dress out of me for a wedding…
Me: Aw, c’mon…
Brown Ankara: Lemme guess? She never made it to the wedding? Haha! Why am I not shocked?? Mschew!
Sketch Pad: She hasn’t drawn a thing since she drew that design for you o…
Me: I’m sorr…
The Hair Handbook: I know there’s nothing about negro hair on here but you must’ve bought me for a reason, Lady…
Me: You guys…
Beatles CD: At least she ripped me to her PC…Not the same as playing from a Deck tho’….
Other CDs:  (Murmuring their agreement)
The match breaker: Errr…You still haven’t found my jacket.
Me: Er…(Scratching my head)
Sudoku: I’ve lost my voice…From crying…Crossword’s in a Coma right now…
The sounding board of a bizzy bee:  So make I dey cry, ba? Because na everyday she dey apologize…
At this point, I’m thinking “This is crazy!! Fracking, stark raving mad!”
Next thing I know:
Unread books: Why did you buy us if you won’t read us? We need answers or we’ll sue!
Me: SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!
…Someone’s tapping me…
C: Wake up!
My sister too??
C: You’re sleep talking joo, I’m trying to sleep!


-XX


13 comments:

Myne Whitman said...

LOL, so who's getting all the attention? Let me guess...the daily grind? Ehmmm...twitter? LOL.

Nice one...

OmoIbadan Tuntun said...

More like procrastination....am I the only one who noticed that the "Nollywood" CD's didnt join the riot?..that is it, that is the answer!!!

HexyDre said...

LOL! I wonder what twitter (or ur twitter device) woulda said...

CerebrallyBusy said...

hahaha LMAOOOOOOOO cheii i loved it!

muyiwa said...

just checking you out,cheers

Chari said...

LMAO!

aeedeeaee said...

Myne, I know not of what you speak :o)

Omoibadan, na dis ya pisho o

Muyiwa, thanks for coming by, i appreciate..

Chari :o)

Crebrallybusy...Danke babes!

Hexy, Hexy! Welcome o! I hope you find blogsville just as interesting as...you know where...lol

Glad y'all like it...Thanks.

Sumptuous said...

Girlfriend, u need to tie up somd loose ends. Hilarious post by d way!

aeedeeaee said...

The post...or my life? lol thanks babes..It's been a while, thanks for coming 'round..

blogoratti said...

Hmmn interesting..

Shubby Doo said...

lol

Anonymous said...

Lol not in the least predictable.
I like!

LovePaprika said...

U don mad finish...