Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Rules? What rules?

*Clears throat*

I refuse to get used to the apparent fact that the apparent average distance between my posts is 4 weeks. Apparently outrageous but i'm not giving up.

Anyways, I have the strongest urge to scribble so, here I am. I hope it all makes sense in the end. I'm not sure what's happening to me. In geek terms, this is what I get when I try to reach me:

Unable to Locate Host.

I'm not sure if the Host server is down or If the "Intranet" connection is lost...or if there's something I'm doing incorrectly. Oh well, Whatever happens, I'll find out....sooner hopefully.

Anyways, back to today's rant. It's a topic I'm passionate about and I thought i'd just drop my 2 pence in the offering box and be on my way. 

Okiedokes.

See, the intention of this post is not to impugn the laws of relationships. No. The intention is to chuck the hell out of them (even if the writer has Ph.D after their name)...and this is my humble opinion so feel free to chuck 'em at any point 'cause...

sigh

Moving on...

All these relationship tips and rules...."Ten rules to get him to love you...15 rules for dating workaholic...5 ways to get him to put a ring on it in 6 weeks or less..." etcetera etcetera etcetera...They're driving me nuts!

You think you can just read up a few books, listen to a few myopic views (That's what they are, like it or not, most people write from personal experience) snap your fingers and play the mating game?

I was talking with someone that belongs to a certain (sad) school of thought who believe that "If he doesn't call you at least 3 times daily, sisteh, he aint into you. Forget that texting ish. If he likes you, he's gonna wanna hear your voice more than once a day!"

I've heard this so  many times and I'm thinking "Wahts ghet ab, brethren?"

FOCUS!

Personally, if I were seeing a guy, I'd probably not call him that much...and that's a guy I'm totally INTO! I may text the hell outta him...Or IM...or just send random, sometimes totally random pictures...So I think I've kinda sorta squashed that rule....oh shoot! I'm a girl. **scoffs**


Anyways, same goes for all the other blighted rules of engagement as far as relationships are concerned. Who makes these blighted rules anyways? Some of them stink right up to the firmament. (Long market woman hiss)


In my very short life among mortals, I have heard quite a few outrageous "rules" or "tips" (Someof which I tried when I was younger and stupid-er) and I'll share some of them here:

One of my favorites -
"If a guy makes eye contact with you and keeps it locked for a few moments and then (wait for it), smiles, he's totally hitting on yo' azz!"

Hello? In my myopic personal opinion slash Experience slash Vicarious experience, YOU PROBABLY LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HE KNOWS...He probabbly wants to ask if you're Alex's sister because "..the resemblance is uncanny!"

Here's another crazy rule:
"You cannot tell a guy you like him coz he gon' think yo azz is a cheap farm tool."

Check this: A woman finds a guy she likes, she send him all the signals in the book...No dice. See, I'm not talking stalker crazy chica or gold digger types. i'm talking for reals. She's only looking for love...and now she's stuck in a rut. She can't tell the negro (a causasian or whatever rocks yer boat) that she likes him "...coz the rule say so" That poor woman may have lost the love of her life to that sad, sad rule.

Oh gee! This one is a favourite among the menfolk and it cracks me up more than a tad bit:
"If she's "too nice" to you, she's totally gonna bed yo azz!"

smhvvv...Yeah! She may be hitting on you...OR NOT. Have you thought of the tiny possibility that maybe you've been placed high above the f&%k-buddy-zone to the prestigious "friend-zone"...or the balanced I-see-my-future-kids-in-you-zone...Think about it before y'all end up like a couple of people I know who married other people (and are both utterly miserable) after dancing around each other for long years of "f&%K-Buddy"ship. Pitiful situation. (Yes, I see just how one sided this is. Aren't you tired of seeing the other side?)

Let me just say here: Not every girl who smiles at you would like to sleep with you.
Selah.

Moving on some more.

IMHO, if you're willing to take all  the relationship advice you've heard and read over time, then you, my darling, don enter one-chance roller-coaster...in which one of two things may happen: You may end up giddy with excitement and fulfillment or...uhmm...remember that puke-fest scene in Problem child 2? Youp Youp! (#NoVicO btw) You probably will end up with vomit all over your mac-finished face, dear lady or your absolutely fabulous self, my fine young man and that's not all.


No. That may be all.


Don't get me twixtid. There are some tell tale signs that a guy's a cad or that a girl is just with you because your brother won't get with her...or that the dude totally digs yo azz....or some other crazy shyt like that. There are sure signs. It's these superfluous rules I have issues with.

Since when did we need laws to love? laws and procedures are dumb. In My Humble Opinion (Recovering Opinionista. Pardon me.) they ensure you don't need to think for yourself..."if this happens, then this gives..." bull-dung...and I say this in the most christian manner.

A really wise man (Barry Schwartz, I think) once said and I quote: "moral skill is chipped away by the over reliance on rules that deprive us of the opportunity to improvise and learn from our improvisations..."

It made a lot of much sense then as he was talking about life in totallement...It does now that I think of in relation to relationships. The top and bottom line are: There are no rules! Let me rephrase: THERE SHOULD BE NO RULES. Let's face it: some of these so called rules work across board and sometimes...more times than we care to let on, some of these rules work at cross purposes with the peculiarities of our various relationships. 

Relationships aren't classical music. They, in fact, should be like jazz, where you look at the notes and yet improvise...that's the flavour. (Barry {i think} is a very wise man)


Like I said earlier, I always like to give my myopia voice so feel free to disagree.


--
xx




P.S
I'm still gonna write that letter...it's supposed to be a confession...One crazy weekend...Uhmm ...sigh. Let's just say I'll put that one under "Plan never-ever-think about-it". *ZIP*


P.P.S
I have a blog that has been comatose for getting on to 3 years now...what am I gonna do with me?




Cognitive itch: Michael Franks - Monkey See, Monkey Do

2 comments:

Myne Whitman said...

Longest time! On the rules, I was surprised to learn some people take them like gospel. I think it's more like pick and choose.

aeedeeaee said...

Oh, there are people!
It's really crazy stuff. I can't keep up. New ones come in daily.
Sigh

It's good to have you back here :)
Thankee!