Tuesday, May 1, 2012

I Quit: How much is enough?

The first time I saw this scene in the movie, I thought "Fantastic Camera Angle"...Seeing it again at the weekend...hit me like a sack of rotten potatoes.

The picture came from a scene in the Bollywood Blockbuster, Three Idiots. 
The kid killed himself after his teacher told him (and others) he was a failure.

He was dead long before his schoolmates found him.


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About two months ago, a man walked into the radio station where I work to say he was on the verge of killing himself but didn't have the courage to. So he did things that would ensure he'd die soon...or be killed. Reason: His wife cheated on him and eventually broke diplomatic relations with him.

He has 3 kids who adore him by the way...

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I'm sorry for taking you down Morbido Crescent...I just heard that someone I knew from way back, someone about my age, OD'ed on sleeping pills. She didn't leave a note but she left cryptic messages on her Facebook wall...family requested an autopsy.

She had HIV.

At some point, I was obsessed with the idea of Suicide (No. Not I. Just the 'why's) I read on one of them suicide fora that "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain."

Really, HOW do you get to that point where you decide to end your life?
How much more baggage can one pile on before they collapse into the doldrums of self pity/loathing and surrender their neck to the noose?

I assume people turn to suicide because they desperately need relief from some kind of pain/emotional discomfort. Of what use is relief if you are dead? You have to be alive to feel the burden lift, no?

I'm not about to say she was weak. Or wicked. Or selfish. Or that whatever reason she had wasn't cogent.
I'm thinking these things though.

However, I can't shake off the thought that maybe she didn't want to die. I don't know. I've felt like a shit hole a few times but I've never wanted to kill myself so I don't know...maybe she wanted someone to help her...


It's just so disconcerting...


5 comments:

TheRustGeek said...

We may never know how close the people we know are close to the brink of pulling the plug on life... I got a rude awakening over Christmas when someone I'd come to associate with great mental strength and fortitude broke down in tears in the midst of what I thought was a normal conversation and bared it all..

I suspect deep down, every suicide is an (unheeded) cry for help...

Thanks for stopping by...

Original Mgbeke said...

Mann it's crazy, and that's why I'm always hoping that I can be some form of a glimmer of light in someone's life...even if it's just a smile. I know it might sound corny but we don't know whether small gestures like that might someone's mind. Sigh...na wa.

aeedeeaee said...

@TheRustGeek
Thanks for stopping by :)

@Mgbeks
My space has missed you.

wealth management said...

Aww this is so sad. A lot of teens nowadays prefers to go suicide after being constantly bullied at school. I wish that all of us has a strong coping mechanism.

SNM said...

Hmmm..
Happens when pain exceeds resources for dealing with pain..
When I was younger I wonder how people opt to give up rather than hold on, I even looked down on them

Let's just say now I know better, a lot better