Love, Son.

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 year old son picked stone and scratched lines on the side of the car.
In anger, the man took the child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using an iron wrench. At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father....with painful eyes he asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back? Man was so hurt and speechless. He went back to car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions....... sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches, child had written
'LOVE YOU DAD'. The next day that man committed suicide....

Anger and Love have NO LIMIT - choose the latter to have a beautiful & lovely life....THINGS are meant to be USED and PEOPLE are to be LOVED,
...but the problem of today's world is that....People are used & Things are loved!!!

"AAaahhh!! you sure say na im pikin???  with a wrench???" Were my first thouhghts on the matter but the situation was more critical than that. This man beat up his son because the child Mutilated his "precious" ride.

 ...life's short...funny thing's we don't realize it until something happens to trigger awareness...i was really hit by the harsh reality that we use what we should love and love what we should be using....a very disturbing reality!

We're so caught up in the madness of making money and making an impression, we forget that the important things in our lives- friends, family, God (Whatever you conceive him to be...)...We really can't afford to get caught up in the things in our lives so much that we forget that in the final analysis, it is the people in our lives that count.


-XX

Random thot...

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Some Lessons in Management

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,
when the doorbell rings.



The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.



When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.



Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.



When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'



'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.


'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?'

Moral of the story:


If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.




Lesson 2:


A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide
up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.




Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas
, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Poof! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.' Poof! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.




Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and
do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden,
a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.



Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.




Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'


The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.


Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.



Morals of the story:
.
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts
on you is your enemy.


(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t
is your friend.


(3) And when you're in deep sh*t,
it's best to keep your mouth shut!


THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.

dAN iBRO

I decided to keep this page warm no matter what...this made me laugh...


Dan'ibro bought a new mobile phone. He sent a message to everyone on his phone book. The message read:

My mobile number has changed; earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is Nokia 6610. Please take note.

__________________________

In a conversation
DAN 'IBRO: I am proud because my son is in Medical College
Friend: Really? What is he studying?
DAN 'IBRO: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Dan'ibro visits his Doctor
DAN 'IBRO: Doctor, in my dreams I play football every night.
DOCTOR: Take these drugs and you will be okay.
DAN 'IBRO: Can I take it tomorrow? Tonight is the final game.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Dan'ibro and his wife
DAN 'IBRO: If I die, will you remarry?
Wife: No! I will stay with my sister but if I die will you remarry?
DAN 'IBRO: No, I will also stay with your sister.
_________________________________________________________________________________

DAN 'IBRO: People consider me as a “GOD”
Wife: How do you know?
DAN 'IBRO: When I went to the park today, everybody said, oh GOD, you have come again.
_________________________________________________________________________________

DAN 'IBRO comes back to his car and finds a note saying 

“parking fine”

He writes a note and sticks it to a pole

“Thanks for the compliment ''

_________________________________________________________________________________

How do you recognize Dan'ibro (Jnr) in school?
He is the one who erases the notes from his book when the teacher erases the board.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Once DAN 'IBRO was walking, he had a glove in one hand and not on the other hand. So a man asked him why he did so.
He replied: The weather forecast announced that on one hand, it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot..
_________________________________________________________________________________

DAN 'IBRO: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race; the winner will get the cup.
DAN 'IBRO: If only the winner will get the Cup, why are the others running?
_________________________________________________________________________________

In a classroom
Teacher: “ 'I killed a person'. Convert this sentence into future tense”
DAN 'IBRO (JNR): The future tense is “You will go to jail”.
__________________________________________________________________________________

DAN 'IBRO told his servant: “Go and water the plants!”
Servant: “It is already raining”
DAN 'IBRO: “So what? Take an umbrella and go”
_________________________________________________________________________________

BTW Where's ROCNAIJA???

S.O.S - Code X

Uploaded via FB Mobile on Saturday, May 16, 2009 at 6:38pm

 

Temperature rising
Words, stuck
What's happening?
No, not losing grip,
It's just. . . When i think of me,
I see you.

Alone, with d tube-again.
Yep. Just been shelved-again.
Oh! I've seen this scene before!
No, not a movie
It's just. . . When I see this love story,
I see Us.

What now?!
Tis Over, done with!
Fourth finger band in place,
Yes, signed and sealed. . .
But truth is. . . When i look at him,
I see you.


© AEEDEEAEE

Regression...

know this guy? lol

and this dude?

TO BE SIX (6) AGAIN

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

”I'd like to be six again” she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. Fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well Dear,what was it like being six again ??

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

”I meant my Dress Size, you dumb ass!!”

Moral of the story:
Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.


My deductions: 
1. It could be that we can never understand what women want (I'm a woman and i still have a hard time deciding what i want :D )
2. It could also be that men just choose the cheaper option...Yeah, i said it!