Monday, October 7, 2013

Mr Not Exactly Right

I hate hook ups. Absolutely hate them. Not just because they hardly ever work for me but more because it takes away the excitement of...of what though? I don't know right now but I know I somehow, always have to find a way to shut it down.

See, half the time, folks are trying to set me up with men they think will be "good for me"...really...I won't be mad If y'all are setting me up with the kind of men y'all have seen me with na. Is that too much to ask?

In the last 4 months, 3 people have tried to set me up with someone "fabulous" and trust me, this thing isn't funny.

1. A 40 something year old man who after the first few messages starts to compare me with "Nkem" whom he should have married but was "too blind" to see her worth at the time. Sigh. The things I see. Need I mention that he has "zilchero" sense of humour.

2. Heelarious 40 something year old who about 20 minutes into our first phone conversation asked me what kinda underwear I like and If I shaved clean or...I didn't wait for the rest of the question.

3. Turned out this very hot 30 something year old has a glistening 4th finger band and was just tryna "score". He's lucky we never met.

The crap singletons have to go through. Like being single is now a crime punishable by horrible match making!
Seriously, why can't folks just leave me?  I mean, If they are going to find me a man, can you at least get it right? WTH? Mscheeew.


Toinlicious said...

Lmaooooo sorry but this is funny. Needless to say the guy that told me he wanted to make me "wet & scream" is not a rarity #deepsigh

The things we suffer en, smh

SNM said...

This score that he wanted to score, was it via penarity, freekick or open play?

Seriously though, where do you find them?

And yes, us dudes suffer too!!

Ehmmm Toinlicious, I can do better.

Hen, we have gist!! Will buzz you shortly

theOOhj said...

Us blokes get that too.. Sigh..

Aee Bonrue said...

@Toin, I know! Twas funny at number 2 but number 3 just made me wanna tear my hair out. lol Walahi i don't know where these people crawl out from. Sigh

@Chicken, my dear, penarity o! I just taya for the mumu married goat. lol My friend just saw fine boy and didn't think to ask if he was hitched. My number just popped into her head. If she weren't so preggers ehn...Ayam still waiting for the gist o!

@OhJ I heard! sigh. If only they weren't always so shitty lol

HoneyDame said...

LMAO...Like Toin...sorry, this was a very funny read...
Nawa sha! Na real wa!

thislagosgirl said...

Awww poor you. It's happening to all of us. Pele