Tuesday, November 20, 2012

"I have Issues." - Tin Lizzie

On a call I received a while ago...and other related akuko:

I don't think I've met anyone who hasn't one had a period in their life when everything was stormy and tumultuous... when it seemed that the devil came out to play... with all his demons and their relatives...whereby you felt like you were smack in the middle of a major hurricane and whereby the said hurricane left you in a state that can only be likened to a shipwreck without dry land or even an empty lighthouse in sight....whereby you were at the point where you just wanted to tear something down while screaming banshee-like "Are we there yet?"


No. I haven't.

Okay maybe not. Maybe not everyone has had it that bad. However, surely most people have been at that low point in their lives where they thought they couldn't possibly go any lower? Therefore, tumults and storms are part of the package  called "Vie", oui?


That's settled then.

So! That brings me to a certain micro-analysis on dealing with "issues":

1. Some people actually take this period "well". Wear a mask and pretend "all is well". They even say it to themselves several times a day just to keep the smile in place...then they go back to their beds at night and actually witness the sun's majestic migration to the east.

2. There's a certain group of humanoids who deal with their own storms by attempting to drown them in all kinds of substances...or activities, either to  temporarily and dull their senses to suffering and pain...or to murk up their minds so that they have that (albeit fleeting) luxury of not being "present" enough to dwell on their "woes". I know. I belonged to this group for a wee while.

3. Others just take a running job. These are professional racers. Some were born, others made...by circumstances. Unfortunately, I was born this, i'd rather run to the land of far far away than look a storm in the face. There's a part of me that still wants to be this...Its far easier. No baggage. No attachments. No worries.


Yeah, I know. I was born this, remember? It's a survival technique that does f&@kall for your relationship with the human race.

~See with these three kinds of sufferers, they're still steeped crown-deep in their worries. Their techniques haven't nicked their wahala 'coz whatever it is, still resides in their minds full time.~

4. Now, there's a curious group of sufferers who just take these occurrences in their lives as a fate which they cannot avoid and bestride their super-storm like a colossus and actually live happily...genuinely. >>FAITH<< Fighting through 'em hail of stones and falling trees to save them.

See, I moved house. I think imma be here permanently. The rent is good. My days of yo-yoing maybe are over.


I've also learnt to travel in a barouche with my storm. That way, he's right in front of me and I know what he's up to at every point. When we eventually get to his stop, he'll get off. It's not easy,b but it's usually worth it. This is what the Bible calls the "anchorage of the soul" and "...however severe the storm that sweeps over the earth, the soul that shelters there is safe." (I read this somewhere..)

I'm currently honing the art of concerning myself with finding out why Mr Storm E. Weather showed up in my life in the first place...There's usually a good reason. A lesson to be learnt.

Sometimes I write about it, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I even write about it in my thoughts. lol. I have whole posts in my head. They just never make it here. Or there. This is how I know to deal with the "its". Luckily, I have the gumption to speak...write about my worries and fears even if it's to a sounding board that'll never talk back. lol

So, Dear XA, No I'm not having a breakdown. That ship sailed already. Thanks for asking though :) As long as I'm on this path, I'll be A-okay :D

Okay. I know I'll still race from a few more things before Armageddon. It's in my nature. First instinct and shiiii...However, the rules have changed somewhat. I won't just balk and run. It has to be the last item on the list of "Ways to go".


Now that we've got that off the cranium, we'll just get back to a certain quasi-dissertation.


One more thang:

Vulnerability isn't weakness.



Myne Whitman said...

Yeah, I think storms are part of life, sometimes they're big, sometimes small, sometimes it's all from our perspective. I hope you come to grips with Mr. Weather. :)

aeedeeaee said...

Thanks Myne...I'm just ignoring him lol