Monday, September 24, 2012

Something unclear...

From age 13 till about my 19th, "When I fall in love" was my favorite Dion tune. I believed that true love happened once in  life time and that one mustn't screw it up.

I was very foolish.

I say this because close to 10 years after nursing this...this startlingly foolish idea (Harnessed, of course, by the volume of M&B novels I'd ingested, digested and Assimilated), I have finally come to the conclusion that one can love as many times as one's heart allows. One can love so can love so much. One can find love whilst "in love". One's heart CAN and WILL play that crazy game with one even when one knows it ain't shit.

See, Twas my first in University when I "fell in love" the first time.

May I quickly say here:
* That is discounting the love I had for RMD before he married Jumobi Adegbesan right in front of my very before...I forgive him though....I was very young. I'd have married her  too :(

* That is also discounting the love I still have for Davor Suker and it wasn't just because he could score goals from the bloody midfield! I recently fell head over heels all over again for his salt and pepper crown *swoon*

* This document must also discount the love I had for Hritik Roshan....'s Eyes!

Okay. I think I'm done with the discounts.

Like I was saying jare, I fell in in love in my first year...I'm not sure if it was his voice on the radio (We co-presented a campus type show back then....yeah) Or if it was his seeming irreverence...Or his brains...or the fact that I just wanted to be in love because my friends were all "in love"....


One of them even had a boyfriend who came on to me...El Stupide told me he was actually using my friend to get to me.


So, as I was saying, I "fell in love" with P.O.Y. (To be referred to as P. in the rest of this here document :p). In retrospect, I think I was in love with the idea of being in love. I know now because, looking back, I see gazillions of reasons why I should've sang out loud "That's it! I quit! I'm moving on!" but the idea of not being in love was nothing short of...daunting.


Have I said I was young and stupid? Oh I have. Shyt.


I fell out of love with P. See, I tried to make it work. I took all there was to take without looking like I dropped from the firmament. It got to a point where I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I walked...Or so I thought because now I realize I had him in my head and It took all of 4 years to get him out. (His phone number's still adamant though :s) At some point, the thought of a man in my life for longer than 2 weeks became a long, winding thing.

'Twas that bad. People thought we were going to get married. Heck, some blighters still ask after him. I've stopped thinking "'dahell???" It's such a waste of emotions.

I digress.

Digress from what exactly seems to be the question....hmmmm...

At this point, I'll have you know that this post was started all of 2 months ago and I really, truly have forgotten exactly how I got here. However, from the scrap title, I think I have a general idea where I wanted it to end.


Very little.

For a relationship to work, love is the topping. Y'all need to find a rhythm.
What works for us...This particular combination of You and I? That should be the question. Love matters but it takes sacrifice...compromise to keep ANY relationship working especially romantically inclined ones.

Sacrifice from both parties. Like 50:50???

Hell neeeeh.

One person. Uno. Un. Ofu onye. Okan. daya. It could come to 60:40 or 80:20 but it depends on one person. Gaskiya, In my opinion, (Feel free to opine differently...or Not.) I sincerely believe that in the end, it takes one person to decide for LOVE to work. Some of us are engineered to be that one person...


My mind's in a tizzy...


Ginger said...

that one can love as many times as one's heart allows. One can love so can love so much. One can find love whilst "in love".

Amen someborri??!!

But I will opine differently. 60/40, 80/20 doesnt work. The true beauty of love is when it is returned. If not, at some point dissatisfaction is gonna fester and Mr/Miss 80% is gonna get tired or give up. Then what happens? So for me 100/100.

aeedeeaee said...


That's heaven! I want that too!

Thanks for sharing reading :)