Thursday, August 2, 2012

(Un)Finished Business


(In totally unrelated akuko) I just realized I never really did finish "The Untitllable" series...Now going through them again made me realize how much those days....taught me (I think I said somewhere that the stories were faction :P) most of it, fact, others embellished :-)


Don't hate. Celebrate :P


....and now back to our regular scheduled programme. 


I've been introspectin'....seem to be doing that a lot these days. Yah. I'm getting old...Okaaay. Like I was saying, I've been thinking....and i've come to the conclusion that there is always that one person you love in your lifetime who becomes the definition of love for you. This is the person who will always be the benchmark for what you expect from or require of a mate. The person whose character will always and forever be the set mark that informs your selection of the "significant other" for the rest of your natural life (consciously or unconsciously),

The person may not be different from anyone else...or like in my case (Kyrie Eleison...) this person could be the most extraordinary humanoid you've met in thy entire life and for a very long time (in my case, even now...to some extent), may define how you feel about every bloke/girl you meet.

Honestly, This Person was my idea of what everybody should be. Male and female alike.

{Clarification: He wasn't my first love. Second actually - the one Dolly P wrote "I will always love You" for. My first love was a...never mind. He was "all that" at some point so... :|}

Anyways, It finally hit me that I (Unconsciously) made comparisions with subsequent love interests and when this potential object of my affection didn't pass the "examination", I suddenly found myself balking. It happened more times than I care to remember and it was their fault at the time. I can see clearly now.

Chai. My life.


"First cut is the deepest" na ogbonge lie. Sometimes you dont even need a cut. It's really the most complex thing. Love. Complexity.

I realized that I've came to love many things that he symbolized...Unconsciously...Some unforgotten conversations...movies...memories...Books read together...Places visited...memories...That One Special Kiss....memories...memories....It was real honest love and when it required letting go, I'm glad I let go...kai, but mehn, love is the ultimate pupeteer yo.


Sigh


I gats let go of 'em unreasonable "parameters" and embrace a different kind of love...abi what's the moral of this story??



--
xx




 P.S.
This is just one of those mushy posts I started eons ago that suddenly became relevant...for different reasons...It didn't quite end like I thought it would last year when I started writing it. In fact, me this year is pointing and laughing at me last year...sigh...this is an entire pile of incomprehensible bunkum...sigh...Hopefully one of these days, Mutabaruka will come out of hibernation and write something fraught with creativity.

Fraught. Hmmmmm. There is hope.



P.P.S
Biko, love isn't overrated. That's baldderdash.
Who's rating by the way?




4 comments:

SNM said...

Definitely not a brain fart.. But what do I know, the mess I am in is far greater than yours by kilomiles

aeedeeaee said...

There's no way to prove this but I accept.

Ginger said...

lol@your response to SNM.
Love is overrated joo. Well, the butterfly floaty type anyway.

I dont think comparing is necessarily a bad thing but one shouldnt also fail to recognise the unique parts of new beaus/loves. I mean if you once had a great relationship/boyfriend, i'd think it wise even pragmatic to seek those qualities that made it work with the former.....

aeedeeaee said...

Yeah...I guess

The tiny snag is that we seldom find these qualities and the feeling is...helpless is the feeling.

Utter helplessness.

Sigh

Kyrie Eleison.