Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Untitled Rant.

My people how una dey? Merry Christmas o! I apolgise for....i dunno...everything from abandonment to whatever else i've been accused of. Forgive me. Work has really been a female dog, walahi! Twitter??? Plix! Don’t even talk about that likkle birdie…She (he) has been a real fortress. (Dead) That green window on my desktop…that allows me vent and rant and rave…real time…Surely, is a good friend (*Deader*) A friend in need..Yeah, I said it!
Now someone's screaming my name, Shoot! These people should respect the fact that I’M IN THE LOO AND LEAVE ME THE HECK ALONE!!! Can’t I even have loo time??? Psst.

Yep .i’m typing away furiously on me laptop...In the loo loo. I do everything in the loo these days..except eat ofcourse…I hope to God I don’t ever get to that stage *horrified*. Why? I don’t have me time anymore…it’s real. I wanna chill? I go to the loo…I wanna clear my head? Loo’s the place…I wanna take a call…Hey, I head to the loo…I need a new Job. This isn’t working…I love my job but this *oss is killing me! My social life is for Shit, my love life is...well...my family’s wondering if I still live at home or what??? My friends call me and say let’s hang out..on a Frigging Saturday…only for me to call them up at 3P.M and say something came up. My Boss’ OCD is driving me nuts!!! It has to be OCD...I told the man my birthday's on monday...thought God may touch his heart and he'd give me the day off. Alas, he reminded me of my meeting with some client...*shaking my head in despair* I'll boycott. QED.


I saw this in me mail a few minuites ago...had a good laugh...I thought y'all would wanna laught till y'all cried too...Enjoy!




What if Management brings it to your notice that due to the current "global economic recession",




"There will be no appraisal for the


current year"










The following are the perceived reactions of some departments.










Administration




Customer Care





Marketing






Network






HR






Top Executives







Security






IT







Call Centers



HEY! WHERE IS THE SALES GUY???


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Its Here::






Sales
 
 




WHO NEED INCREMENT THIS YEAR PLEASE COME...


ONE BY ONE ............ .........


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HEHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEH! I had tears in my eyes when i read this...from laughter ofcourse! What did you think? Today has been one of those days...Just read Sir Scribbles Spoof ad #5: TRANSMUGULATOR and then this. But mehn the situation is critical o! Suicide...or berra still Somborrielsecide is contemplated ASAP! WTF?? Naija?? No fuel, No Electricity...No Nothing! Why am I worried that i don't feel christmas-sy? There's abso-fecking-lutely nathing to feel christmassy about. Then there's the little fact that it's my birthday on Monday.

friend of mine: where the parry gonna be @?
Sayeth moi:  Recession
friend of mine: Huh?
Sayeth moi: Kosi owo, No moni...No parry. Shikena.

I mean, where we dey go for this country, walahi, me i no know o! It's getting worse by the day. Just a few days ago, a colleague friend of mine got serious burns on both legs from knee down because her Genny Exploded! We're so goddam lucky she didn't get cconfused in the in the madness of the moment and was able to save her children since hubby was on a trip out of town....The house is not recognizable! What kind of government leaves it citizens without electricity and now without petrol to even power their bludeh Gennies, pray tell? It beats me honestly...i try to explain it to my self everyday...i can't.

However, i still maintain a positive outlook towards dear Motherland. I'm still hopeful that 'e go better', that as long as the stammer tries he'll pronounce papa even though it may take him some doing....


Have a happy holiday y'all! See more of y'all this season....Till after my holiday...My 5 day holiday...



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