pOnDeRiSmS...

*why eat a lot of natural foods when most people die of natural causes.

•There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

• Life is sexually transmitted.

• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
lying for nothing..

• Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no
one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

• Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

• All of us could take a lesson from the weather.

..It pays no
attention to criticism.

• In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now
the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?

• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think
i'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'


• Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if
hey are going to look up there anyway?


• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?

• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

I just wonder...