Dia. . .Monologue II

Friday, January 9, 2009 at 12:02am

Location: Mama's Lagos home

(On the phone)...Er...Yeah...yep...My flight's for the 16th...aiight...I miss you too baby...nah, I can't make it before then...I've got a lot of things to tie up here...besides mum's just gonna have a coronary if I change dates.... haahahaaha...OK sweetie...talk to ya later...yeah after my meeting...i love you too baby...bye ya! (Click)
SSHIT! mum! You freaked me out! (beat) Who?. . .oh! it was Lex? She's my friend in the States, Ma (Perplexed)...Mum, wassup?... (beat) You're worried about me? Why would you be? (Beat) Ma, That's...well...strange...funny even...(beat) Because, mum, I work with men...I have brothers...and boyfriends (beat) what are u talking about, Ma? (beat) I'm...I don't have time for this, Mum...No I'm not running away from discussing it ma! I don't wanna, that's it!...(beat) oh, so you wanna play like that now...(Beat) What are you doing?...(beat) My keys mum! I have a meeting in 45 minutes mummy! (Beat) What you don't know is cool ma... (beat) Cool! Lex and i have been together for 6 years...what? (beat) You want the truth? (beat) Lex is a girl...I'm not into men...like that, Ma...I'm...uhm...lesbian. (Back turned) Why are you doing this to...

(thud!)

hey ma...Mum? Mum?! MUUUUUUUMMMMMYYYY!?!??!?!?!?!?!

Dia..Monologue I

Thinking of something to blog about and voila! Bright Idea! I'll share some of my short "stories" :) ENJOY!

Friday, January 9, 2009 at 10:53pm

Location: The shrink's office..

Hello, Nonso's my name...(beat) Hello, Ronke, I hear you tried to jump off the 3rd mainland...(Beat)(beat) Hmmmm...depressed,eh...says here in your file that this is the second time you've tried to take your own life... Ok kid...lets cut the bullshit...I'm not here to tell you life's good and you'll have another husband-to-be in no time. I'm not here to talk you out of killing yourself. If that's what you really want, Be my guest. . .but don't pull any stunts till after this session, ok? (silence) Are we clear on that? (Beat) Good. Now, I wanna hear your own side of this tale, so, spill. (beat) Great! So your fiance left you for his student, after you'd been together for all of 6 Years...?
(Beat) 

Look here young woman, you want to hear a tale of woes? Try this: I'm  turning 48 in two weeks, I've been married for 22 years, married against everybody's better judgment...I got disowned because i fell in love with someone "beneath" my social class...here's the interesting part...My husband has been bedridden for 10 years...Guess what? He was in an accident...with his mistress...(beat) YES. But she died in the accident...certainly saved me jail-term. During my marriage...well, the active years, I've had 4 pregnancies...4! 1 miscarriage, 3 Still Births! That is 4 pregnancies and no child and I have no hope because I'm menopausal and the man I loved - who betrayed me - is a vegetable and cant even be divorced! So kid, if you think your life's pathetic and you want to put an end it, try being a little more creative with your methods. Stabbing yourself with a table knife in front of your family...jumping off a bridge in Broad daylight...my dear child, (chuckles) that's comedy...but, if you think my yakking made any sense, make use of those brains I know you've been given, get off your butt, and get a move on! We're done here!

(Ding)

Kai! Stop that rough play!

Somebody sent me this mail...and i'm thinking:

You've gotta be kidding me!

Here's how it went...

You are Everything To Somebody
Right now at this very minute-----------

someone
is very proud of you

someone
is thinking of you

someone
cares about you

someone
misses you

someone
wants to talk to you

someone
wants to be with you

someone
hopes you aren't in trouble


someone
is thankful for the support you have
provided

someone
wants to hold your hand

someone
hopes everything turns out all right


someone
wants you to be happy


someone
wants you to find them

someone
is celebrating your successes

someone
wants to give you a gift

someone
think you ARE a gift

someone
hopes you are not too cold, or too hot

someone
wants to hug you

someone
loves you

someone
wants to lavish you with small gifts

someone
admires your strength

someone
is thinking of you and smiling

someone
wants to be your shoulder to cry on

someone
wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun

someone
thinks the world of you

someone
wants to protect you

someone
would do anything for you

someone
wants to be forgiven

someone
is grateful for your forgiveness

someone
wants to laugh with you about old times

someone
remembers you and wishes you were there

someone
is praising God for you

someone
needs to know that your love is unconditional

somebody
values your advice

someone
wants to tell you how much they care

someone
wants to stay up watching old movies with
you

someone
wants to share their dreams with you

someone
wants to hold you in their arms

someone
wants YOU to hold them in your arms

someone
treasures your spirit

someone
wishes they could STOP time because of
you

someone
praises God for your friendship and love

someone
can't wait to see you

someone
wishes that things didn't have to change

someone
loves you for who you are

someone
loves the way you make them feel

someone
wants to be with you

someone
is hoping they can grow old with you

someone
hears a song that reminds them of you

someone
wants you to know they are there for you

someone
is glad that you're their friend

someone
wants to be your friend

someone
stayed up all night thinking about you

someone
is alive because of you

someone
is remorseful after losing your
friendship

someone
is wishing that you would notice them

someone
wants to get to know you better

someone
believes that you are their soul mate

someone
wants to be near you

someone
misses your guidance and advice

someone
values your guidance and advice

someone
has faith in you

someone
trusts you

someone
needs you to send them this letter

someone
needs your support

someone
needs you to have faith in them

someone
needs you to let them be your friend

Question is: Where is the someone ooooooooooooooooh???!!!

Inspiration: Zilch.

I've been try to blog about something...nothing seems to make sense at all, eh! inspiration comes in odd places...when i gtet down to it...e go just yamutu lke say dem send am...they call it writers block, i do b'live...i call it fatigue...when i was jobless (well, sorta...) over inspiration dey worry me....i was churning lyrics...stories....like say tomorrow no go come...kai! Now i have an all day long Job...(i detest 9-5s!)my dream job...but good ol' inspiration's running away and i'm running behind it sceaming like a banshee...praying that this noise in my head takes a long walk...but no...i got ta go...else i may become incoherent...argh!

Michael Joseph Jackson's being buried today...merde!

20 Questions. . .

I posted this on facebook Saturday, January 17, 2009 at 1:27pm...yeah most peeps are at work at that time...i...was jobless...fresh outta service, freelance production assistant kinda jobless... so i got this bright idea...(well, sorta bright) to ask these nagging FAQs...trying to express my fundamental right of freedom of expression...or lack thereof...

Anyways, twenty questions it was gonna be...only i didn't have patience for 20...so dear Blog Ville... inspired by Mr Lethargy and Miss Ennui, here goes:

+Why do humans make promises they cant keep?

+Why do people have more than one face?

+Why do women like being lied to?

+Why do IT knowing IT'll kill you one way or another?

+Why the heck do we fall in love. . . again and again?

+What about same-sex sex?

+What do elephants say when they're mad?


Seven's a good number. . . Methinks!



©FALCON

EGO. OWO. KUDI

I'm just musing. . .

. . .Money slow to enter,
Money quick to go. . .
Money slow to enter,
where money dey go, I no know, I no know o. . .

czech this out...

"Men throughout history have proved unable to do without women. . .But women on the other hand have proved they do not need men to survive. . ."

TRUE/FALSE...You choose...

I say:
If that statement was regarding Emotional needs,

I have one word: Bollocks! Men and women were made for each other...it's a complementary equation...QED!

pOnDeRiSmS...

*why eat a lot of natural foods when most people die of natural causes.

•There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

• Life is sexually transmitted.

• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
lying for nothing..

• Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no
one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

• Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

• All of us could take a lesson from the weather.

..It pays no
attention to criticism.

• In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now
the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?

• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think
i'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'


• Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if
hey are going to look up there anyway?


• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?

• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

I just wonder...